Many thanks, Francesca. In accordance with my view, in a certain sense, I feel that I am where I ought to be. Grief is odd in that it has a "life" or rhythm of its own. It takes me where it will, but I don't feel bad that I feel bad when I do. But of course, that is not always. There is much joy in my life.
Congrats on your edited NYT letter, which has different emphases from your essay. It’s sadder. To me, the letter suggests that if you wanted to lessen your daily grief you might, among other things, downsize to disrupt the sadder parts of your daily routine. I know that’s easier said than done, but it’s a far cry from undoable and others would be happy to help. Just sayin’ …
Grief might lessen in intensity and its paralyzing effect may lessen with time, however, my experience is that it never ends. So glad your reflection was published in the NY Times. BTW: I enjoyed watching Rickey Gervais in Netflix's "After Life." I had to watch it taking breaks between episodes. Pathos, humor, and brutal honesty. Thanks for writing and posting this terrific objection and reflection.
The acceptance of death is usefully explored at length in many philosophies . I know you know that. The death of one person, no matter how deeply loved, should not mean the death of 1+. The way I read the Manual’s finding is positive: if a healthy person’s life ceases following a loved one death, that person can, and should, seek psychiatric counsel — if he or she can find it — and can now expect some insurance reimbursement. When I lost loved one’s, the thinking was profound grief beyond six months, was not a good thing. Before my mother died, she wrote a letter to my Dad wishing him a good and full life without her. He got it. Such letters are wise and common. To a euadaimonia in the present!
Many thanks, Francesca. In accordance with my view, in a certain sense, I feel that I am where I ought to be. Grief is odd in that it has a "life" or rhythm of its own. It takes me where it will, but I don't feel bad that I feel bad when I do. But of course, that is not always. There is much joy in my life.
Thoughtful article on a complex subject. The APA isn't always right and may have other motives. Yet prolonged grief may be harmful to happiness.
Congrats on your edited NYT letter, which has different emphases from your essay. It’s sadder. To me, the letter suggests that if you wanted to lessen your daily grief you might, among other things, downsize to disrupt the sadder parts of your daily routine. I know that’s easier said than done, but it’s a far cry from undoable and others would be happy to help. Just sayin’ …
Very well said - I went through the same when my 53-year partner left me.
Grief might lessen in intensity and its paralyzing effect may lessen with time, however, my experience is that it never ends. So glad your reflection was published in the NY Times. BTW: I enjoyed watching Rickey Gervais in Netflix's "After Life." I had to watch it taking breaks between episodes. Pathos, humor, and brutal honesty. Thanks for writing and posting this terrific objection and reflection.
The acceptance of death is usefully explored at length in many philosophies . I know you know that. The death of one person, no matter how deeply loved, should not mean the death of 1+. The way I read the Manual’s finding is positive: if a healthy person’s life ceases following a loved one death, that person can, and should, seek psychiatric counsel — if he or she can find it — and can now expect some insurance reimbursement. When I lost loved one’s, the thinking was profound grief beyond six months, was not a good thing. Before my mother died, she wrote a letter to my Dad wishing him a good and full life without her. He got it. Such letters are wise and common. To a euadaimonia in the present!